A Watcher's Son 4, The Other Side
by Alec Star
Summary: What if the New Council is not as complete as Giles seems to think? Part four of the 'A Watcher's Son' series. Crossover with The Sentinel.
1. Chapter 1: The Missing

**_Disclaimers:_** I don't own the characters, I don't own the concepts, I make no money, I make no sense and i get no sleep but on a positive note I do love feedback (so please review)

**_Warning/comment:_** This is a series I wrote between about two years ago, before I really started posting here and it has not really been revised since then, so there may be a few mistakes here and there, sorry about that.

The story is complete, there are 52 chapters to this thing, split into five parts with an interlude between parts one and two. This is part 4.

This is obviously a crossover.

**_Timeline:_** Buffy-wise this story is post 'Chosen' and slightly AU.

**_A Watcher's Son 4 - The Other Side_****_  
__Chapter 1:The Missing_**

"Chief, you may want to open the door." Said Jim.

"Why?"

"Because Buffy has been standing out there for about three minutes now, she's nervous as hell and she **_hasn't_** barged in, a fact that in itself can be consider as a sure sign of a coming apocalypse."

"Please, Jim, no apocalypse jokes! I think that should be a new house rule."

"And the fact that you are suggesting a new house rule should probably qualify as another such sign... maybe I should go pack."

"I'll get the door." Said Blair with a smile. It had taken some getting used to for Jim to quit locking that door, but the massive slayer invasion had eventually left its mark as Jim had gotten tired of having it repaired on a daily basis and had given in to the inevitable, trusting their _other_ defenses to keep intruders at bay. "Buffy, come in."

"I guess it doesn't make much sense to fidget by a Sentinel's door, uh?" Said the girl in question.

"I don't think you can flush a toilet anywhere in this **_block_** without Jim being aware of it. He can hear every breath you take so no, it doesn't really help much."

"I so didn't need to know about that... though I may ask for his help the next time Dawn has a date, you know, maybe he could check her boyfriend out, make sure he doesn't smell like other girls, that they mean it when they say they intend to behave, that they are actually going to be where they say they are going to be and that they..."

"Buffy!" Exclaimed Blair in mock horror.

"What? If I've learned one thing in eight years as the slayer is to take advantage of every available resource."

"In a battle... it's supposed to be in a battle."

"Well, this could qualify... it's a battle to keep my little sister safe. I'm sure Jim wouldn't want to see Dawn heartbroken, right Jim?"

"Oh, no. I want no part of this. I assume you have something you want to talk about?"

"I'm not sure. I thought maybe, but now that I'm here ..."

"It's okay, Buffy, take your time." Said Blair.

"I just don't know what to do."

"About what?"

"Something Giles said, I can't stop thinking about it. He said we are all here..."

"And you are not so sure about that one, is that it?"

"Nm-m." Buffy said, shaking her head.

"You think there's someone missing?"

"Yes, but it's not that simple."

"It would probably be easier if you could tell us just **_who_** do you think is missing."

"That's the thing, I'm not sure if he's missing or if I'm being selfish, and I can't tell anyone else about it 'cause they'll either hate what I have to say or they'll agree with me and I'm not sure which one of those two options scares me the most right now."

"It scares you?"

"Yes, I don't want to hurt him."

"Why would you hurt him?"

"Well, we have two watchers, two witches, two humans, an Immortal, a slayer, a Key, a shaman and a sentinel, and that's probably quite a few people more than Giles would have expected, and certainly more than were represented in the old Council but..."

"But what?"

"I think we are missing an ensouled vampire here. I know the Council doesn't exactly have a longstanding tradition of working with vampires, but I've had one by my side almost since I was called and I kind of got used to it."

"But Angel is working with the Council, he's helping Wesley train the other slayers even if he's not in Cascade." Blair reminded her.

"I know."

"We are not talking about Angel here, are we?"

"No. I can't quite explain it, but no."

"And what do you think we should do about it."

"That's the thing, I don't know what we should do and I don't know what we could do. I can't tell Giles because he would probably freak out on me and I don't even know if what I'm thinking makes any sense at all... besides, even if I were to learn that there is something we **_can_** do I'm not entirely sure that we **_should_** and everything is really messed up inside my head right now."

"Calm down, it's going to be fine. First let's try to figure out where we stand and the rest will hopefully fall into place, okay?"

"I don't know where we stand."

"You think we need an ensouled vampire?"

"Yes, but..."

"Forget the buts for now, we will get to those pesky little critters later."

"Okay, yes, I feel we need a vampire in the Council."

"I can see that my father wouldn't be particularly happy to hear that, but let's ignore that fact for now. You believe that that vampire should be Spike, not Angel?"

"Yes."

"You believe there is something in Spike that would make him better suited for that role than Angel, even though Spike is dust and Angel is far more readily available?"

"Yes."

"So you see a significant difference between the two of them, in their natures?"

"Yes, I think there's a difference when it comes to the nature of their souls."

"What kind of difference?"

"It's hard for me to explain."

"Give it a try."

"I guess the difference is that Spike had to defeat his own demon in order to earn his soul whereas Angel's is more of a fluke... he didn't earn it and his demon certainly doesn't want it."

"And you think that matters?"

"Yes. Spike wasn't so torn by his soul. I mean, he had a hard time adjusting to it --of course-- and the First certainly didn't help matters but his demon seemed willing to accept his soul, Angel's is always at war with it. For Angel his soul is and will always be a curse... that wasn't necessarily true of Spike. It's kind of like Spike is always Spike, with or without a soul, with Angel there's the whole Angel/Angelus thing going on, it's like he has these two personalities he just can't seem to reconcile."

"So you think we need Spike in the Council, but he's gone."

"Yes, and that's kind of the problem, isn't it?"

"And what do you think we could do about it?"

"Us? Nothing, but maybe Willow..."

"You want Willow to see if it would be possible to bring him back."

"Yes. No. I don't know. I know they brought me back so maybe they could do it but if Spike is at peace I don't want to take that away from him. I don't want him to be..."

"You are worried that he will be torn from Heaven like you were, is that it?"

"Yes, after more than a hundred years he has earned his rest. I want him back but not if it's going to hurt him... and I keep telling myself that we need him but I don't know if we really need him or if that's just an excuse."

"Because you need him."

"Yes."

"It's not a crime for you to say that you need him or that you miss him. You don't need an excuse to be human, Buffy."

"But I don't know what to do. Do I want Spike back because we need him or am I being selfish?"

"You are not being selfish even if you just want him back because you want him back, of course that doesn't necessarily mean that you should act on that desire to get him back. I think you should consider your options here."

"So what can I do?"

"Well, first of all, do you agree that if Spike is meant to be brought back it should be possible to bring him back?"

"I'm not following you."

"I mean that if Spike has a role to play in the Council then the Powers probably left some sort of loophole that would allow us to bring him back in the first place."

"I guess, but then again they allowed for a loophole to bring **_me_** back and we all know how well that went."

"Which only goes to prove my point. I believe that you were meant to be brought back... of course I'll give you the fact that the Powers could probably have found a less painful way to do it."

"Well, I'm not sure about that one, but even so... if that's the case I don't care how meant to be it is. If Spike is better off dead then he should be allowed to stay that way. You see? Even if it were possible to bring him back I'm not sure we should and if I were to tell the others they would either shoot the idea down in a hurry or they would bring Spike back regardless of whether or not he **_wants_** to be brought back... and it's not like we can ask him for his opinion now, can we?"

"Says who?"

"What do you mean?"

"Talk to Willow and Tara, find out if bringing Spike back is even a possibility, if they say 'yes' come back to me and I'll try to contact the spirit realm. I'm not making any promises here but I think that I may be able to pull it off. I must warn you that I've never tried anything like this before --not deliberately-- but last time I checked I think I saw it listed somewhere in my job description as this tribe's shaman."

"You'd really do that for me?"

"Sure, what are big brothers for?"

"Could I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Even if Willow says 'no', could you try it? Contacting him, I mean."

"Why?"

"Because he didn't believe me... I need him to know that I meant what I said."

* * *

**_Author's notes:_** Okay, I finally decided to post one of my very old fics called **_True Immortal_** to this site. The reason I did that is because it contains my take on the origin of the Game (and that was relevant to the discussion back in part 3 of this series). Anyway, In case anyone is interested, its story id is: 2814578.

Alec


	2. Chapter 2: Do You Have What It Takes?

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 2: Do You Have What It Takes?

"Okay, let me get this straight, you want us to bring Spike back?" Said Willow.

"Yes."

"You are sure about that?"

"Yes, can you pull it off?"

"Oh, I'm pretty sure it won't be a problem."

"But the Urn of Osiris was lost."

"And that would have been a big issue if we were trying to bring someone back to life, but Spike is a vampire. He's already dead so we won't be needing it. The spell to restore a vampire is completely different. In fact it's far less complicated than the one we used to bring you back. I mean, I first ran into this spell back when we were researching the Rite of Osiris and at the time it sounded kind of cryptic even though it's really quite straight forward. Of course back then it didn't really help 'cause, well, you are not a vampire so I had no use for it but now I don't think bringing Spike back would be all that difficult."

"Then why aren't vampires bringing back their fallen comrades? I mean, you make it sound like it's almost easy." Asked Buffy.

"Well, the spell itself is extremely simple as far as the casting of it goes, though the ritual is not well known or documented because no one has ever really tried it before."

"That's what I don't understand, why hasn't it been tried if it's so easy? I mean some vamps can be pretty obsessed with their Sires or their lovers or whatever, and yet the closest thing we've seen to someone trying to reraise a vampire was when the Master's followers kidnapped you... and even then they needed the bones, which we don't have."

"it doesn't matter. The spell I want to use is not the same that the Master's followers were attempting so the 'no bones' thing won't be an obstacle. As to why there aren't tons of vamps trying to bring their friends back using this spell, well, that's because even though the spell is simple enough, one of the ingredients is all but impossible to come by."

"Then how come you are not worried about it?"

"Because it's not an issue."

"What? You've been taking cryptic lessons? How can it be 'all but impossible to come by' and 'not an issue'? Don't get me wrong, I'm happy I don't have to keep dusting the same vamps time and time again, but it does sound kind of weird."

"Yes, having recyclable vamps wouldn't be of the good, but what I'm trying to say is that the ingredient that makes this spell all but impossible to cast in most instances won't represent the tiniest bit of trouble in this particular case. You see, the spell calls for the blood of a living slayer, freely given and shed by the scythe. We have the slayer --you-- we have the scythe --which was lost up until a few months ago-- and you are the one who wants the spell cast in the first place, so instant 'no problem'. That's why I had to be sure that you really wanted him back."

"Damn, sometimes I hate it when Blair is right. I mean, it's great that it's possible and all that but... damn."

"Why? What did he say?"

"He said that if Spike was meant to be brought back the Powers would have left a loophole that would enable us to bring him back and now you're telling me that not only is there such a loophole but that the Powers pretty much made sure such loophole applied **_only_** under the current circumstances. I mean, this is probably the closest thing we could possibly get to a direct order to bring him back."

"And that's a problem?"

"Maybe."

"So have you spoken to Giles about this?"

"No, I just talked it over with Blair. I haven't mentioned anything about this to Giles and I don't intend to. It's not his call."

"He won't be happy about that."

"About the fact that I won't ask for his opinion or about the fact that I'm considering the possibility of bringing Spike back?"

"Come to think about it we'll have a doubly pissed watcher to deal with if we do this."

"Yes, well, if I were to ask he would either veto the idea or maybe he would pretty much order us to go ahead and I don't like either of those two options so I just won't ask him. Besides, he wanted to get rid of Spike even before the final battle so I guess I know how he feels about him."

"In other words you want us to do it first and tell him later? 'Cause let me tell you that I'd rather deal with a whole nest of vampires on my own and using no magic. He was pretty pissed when we brought you back and I'm so not looking forward to a repeat performance."

"I know he won't be happy about the whole not telling him thing --and I promise I'll deal with that one myself-- but one of the reasons why I won't even mention it to him is because I'm not so sure whether or not we should do it at all. That's not up to me either."

"Then who's supposed to make that call? If you won't do it and Giles won't even be told about it..."

"Spike. Whether or not we bring him back is up to him. It should be his choice."

"Okay, now it's my turn to ask about those cryptic lessons."

"It was Blair's idea really. I was kind of confused so he told me to ask you if it's even possible."

"I get that but how do we go from Blair suggesting that you ask us to letting Spike make the decision?"

"I think Blair... he's going to try and contact Spike, right?" Interrupted Tara.

"Yes, he volunteered to do his shaman thing and see if we could get Spike to tell us what he wants."

"But you want him back?"

"Yes, I do and going by what you told me I'm guessing he really should be brought back but I don't care. If the Powers say he should be brought back an he says he's happy being dead then he'll stay dead... well deader anyway, he's been dead for a while. Okay, so words sometimes tend to go wonky when talking about vampires."

"We get what you mean... and I guess maybe that's what we should have done back then too, right? When we brought you back."

"I don't know. I mean if you had asked me back then I would have said 'no way, no how, I'm staying here' but now I'm kind of glad to be back so maybe it's good that you didn't ask. I guess I should have said that sooner, I mean I thanked you back then but I didn't mean it and then you found out that I **_really_** didn't mean it."

"And now you mean it?"

"Yes, I mean it."

"Isn't there another 'mean' the two of you mean to throw into this little exchange?" Teased Tara.

"Now you are just being mean."


	3. Chapter 3: And the Sun Will Lead Me Home

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 3: And the Sun Will Lead Me Home Again

I'm walking through the jungle and instinctively I know where I'm going. I'm headed for the waterfall knowing that the one I seek will be waiting for me there. When I finally reach my destination I'm not surprised to see a snow leopard basking in the sun. The magnificent beast seems to be perfectly content just laying there, transfixed by the colors that seem to surround the waterfall as the tiny droplets break down the light like a million prisms. As soon as it sees me approach it gets up and it morphs into Spike.

"Is it time?" He asks, and I can't help but notice that his usual cockiness is gone and there's a sadness in his voice I had never heard before.

"Only if you want it to be."

"What do you mean 'if I want it to be'? It's meant to be and you know it just like I do."

"Yes, well... someone refuses to let the Powers write the script this time around."

"Buffy..."

"Can you blame her? After what she's been through?"

"Not really."

"You are happy here."

"The sun is so beautiful... I can walk in its light without fear, but that's not all. I'm here, all of me... not just the soul."

"The demon made it?"

"The demon made it."

"And for the first time in over a hundred years you've found peace."

"Yes."

"And to go back would mean giving it up."

"Yes."

"It's your choice."

"Is it? I know my duty but I don't know if I can go back to the shadows, to being neither man nor demon. Here I have peace, I am complete, I am home and now I'm being asked to willingly give it all up."

"Would it have been easier if someone had made the decision for you?"

"Maybe... at least it would have given me someone to blame. For a long time she blamed the witch --not that she ever confronted her about it. She hated the witch and she hated me but most of all she hated herself... and I used that."

"I know."

"What, the watcher's blindness doesn't run in the family? 'Cause he did a great job of not seeing what was happening right in front of him... they all did. Even after they found out where she'd been they were all so eager to believe that everything would be just fine, that things would work themselves out on their own. She was falling apart and they basically left her in the hands of a demon."

"I love my father, and he certainly loves Buffy but sometimes he does tend to get slapped by those facts that are not presented to him in a familiar format... and a familiar format usually translates into a book with at least two centuries worth of dust."

"He's gotten better though."

"You have no idea."

"What do you mean?"

"Might have beens, it doesn't really matter."

"Something happened that we never knew about, didn't it?"

"No, it almost happened but it never did."

"Another disaster averted? Another almost apocalypse the world will never hear about?"

"Hopefully it wouldn't have come to that. More of a personal intervention in the nick of time than a world saving rescue, I think."

"What happened?"

"My dad almost left... literally."

"When?"

"Shortly after he found out where Buffy had been. He said she was leaning on him too much but I think he was terrified of losing her again. He was so afraid of making a mistake that he almost made the biggest one of them all."

"And you got him to stay."

"No, I just reminded him of what he already knew. I don't think he ever told Buffy about it though."

"You know? You are not so bad, shaman."

"Thanks, but that's not why I'm here and you know it."

"You are here to bring me back."

"No, I'm here to ask you if you want to be brought back."

"Does she want me back?"

" Yes, she does but more than that she wants you to be happy. She also asked me to give you a message no matter what you decide."

"What?"

"She wanted you to know that she did mean it. She said you didn't believe her but she did. She wanted me to tell you that even if there was no way to bring you back, which there is. She wasn't really clear about what she was talking about, she just said that you'd understand."

"I do."

"So do you know what you want to do?"

"I'll renounce the gift I've been given. I'll go back... for her, for now, but now... now I know one thing."

"What?"

"I know that she's my light and when she's gone the sun will lead me home again."


	4. Chapter 4: Daddy's Little Girl

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 4: Daddy's Little Girl

Blair was dizzy and exhausted but he was also relieved. It took him a couple of minutes to get his bearings after coming out of his trance and he couldn't help but smile at the barely contained questions he could see in Buffy's eyes.

"You'll need new drapes." Were the first words out of his mouth and before he knew it he found himself with an armload of Buffy.

"He's coming back?"

"For now."

"Is he happy? And what do you mean 'for now'?"

"He's happy, when I got there he was enjoying the sun. He is at peace but he's willing to give it up."

"For now?"

"Yes."

"Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to beat the answer out of you?"

"He basically agreed to come back for as long as you live."

"He's doing it for me?"

"He knows it's his duty, but yes, mostly for you."

"So we are really going to do this."

"As soon as Willow says she's ready. Have you told my father?"

"No, and I really wasn't planning to."

"Good thinking... dealing with the fallout will probably be easier than having him try to stop us."

"So, you do realize that your dad won't be happy about this, right?"

"Yes, well, I know Spike may irk him more than most, but as far as I'm concerned irking him is a matter of degrees. That's unavoidable so we'll just have to deal with it... **_he'll_** just have to deal with it. It is **_your_** choice."

"You seem to be taking it remarkably well. You have met his glare, haven't you?"

"Yes, and I've met Jim's. I can handle it. Besides I don't think you'd be all that happy if you were to be forced to join a convent."

"What do you mean?"

"Has my father **_ever_** liked one of your boyfriends?"

"Well, he liked Angel before he went evil and killed Jenny... after that he was worried and with good reason."

"So he liked him as long as he kept his hands off of you."

"That's not fair, Angelus did kill his girlfriend and as far as he could tell our relationship was a very big and real danger. I could never blame Giles for hating Angel's guts."

"But he **_doesn't_** hate his guts. He respects him as long as he stays away from you. But he's not the only one, is he? What about your other boyfriends? Did he approve of any of them?"

"Well, Parker doesn't even count. He was a total jerk."

"Okay, you both hate that one equally."

"Yes, then there was Riley. He was nice enough --I guess-- but in hindsight we weren't a good match."

"And how did my dad feel about him?"

"He tolerated him, kind of. I don't think he liked him much but he never really said anything about it."

"So, so far we have one 'hates his guts' and one 'tolerated him... barely' and that's not taking Parker into account. Is there anyone else?"

"Spike, of course."

"And we both know how he feels about Spike."

"Yes, well, but keep in mind that he's a vampire and Giles has dedicated his whole life to fighting vampires, so it kind of makes sense that he wouldn't be too happy about that one. Add to that the fact that he did try to rape me once and..."

"He tried to **_what_**?"

"Ooops. Look, it's complicated and it was quite some time ago."

"Care to define 'complicated'?"

"You do know we got together shortly after I came back, right?"

"Yes... and I know you said it wasn't pretty, that you were using each other but you never mentioned anything like this."

"We were both angry at the world and then after he discovered that he could actually hurt me there was no turning back. We were already heading in that direction before that happened, but that kind of sealed it. We would basically hurt each other to make ourselves feel better. It wasn't love, it was an escape."

"And then something changed."

"Yes, I wanted to break it off but he wasn't listening and I had said 'no' without really meaning it so often that when I finally did mean it he didn't notice the difference. When he realized what he had almost done he was horrified. He took off and we didn't see him again until several months later. By then he was acting all crazy and he had his soul. By that time I really didn't want anything to do with him but eventually I did forgive him... of course, he never actually believed me."

"You forgave him, but my dad didn't."

"As far as Giles was concerned he was an evil vampire that should be staked on sight up until the very end. He even tried to have him killed behind my back. He said that I could do better."

"And that's exactly why I say that unless you want to join a convent you will have to deal with my dad's disapproval. Whether it's Spike or someone else, as far as he is concerned there is never going to be anyone who is even remotely good enough for his little girl."

"Then how come he doesn't have a problem with anyone else's choices?"

"Well, let's see. First of all, you are **_his_** slayer."

"Which basically means I can take care of myself."

"Yes, and it also means that helping you --keeping you safe from those things he can actually protect you from-- is his top priority and as far as he is concerned I suspect that men rank pretty high on that list."

"Okay, that may be true, but..."

"Then you have the fact that Xander's a guy and his girlfriends are less likely to trigger his overprotective frenzy..."

"Which is totally unfair considering some of his choices."

"Granted. Then you have Willow who's gay. I suspect that --because she's a girl-- Tara slipped under his radar until it was too late for him to freak out about it. Tara is with Willow so that's not really an issue. Anya actually joined the group as Xander's girlfriend so he didn't have to go into a frenzy over that one either... but don't worry, if it makes you feel any better I suspect it won't be long before he has more than one loathed boyfriend to worry about. Of course, by then he won't be the only one freaking out, I'm pretty sure you'll be right there, keeping him company."

"What do you mean?"

"How long do you think it will be before Dawn starts dating someone seriously?"


	5. Chapter 5: Youth Gone Wild

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 5: Youth Gone Wild

I try glaring at them but it doesn't do much good. I'm still trying to figure out what on Earth could these three possibly have been thinking. Why would they want to bring Spike back to begin with? I know Buffy has a soft spot when it comes to the bleached vampire that I'll never understand, but Willow should have known better. In fact I remember having a serious talk with her after she brought Buffy back, but now it seems that was a wasted effort... and Blair... I should be able to trust my son to put his foot down **_sometimes_**, especially when it comes to harebrained ideas such as this one. It's a matter of common sense.

"Would you mind telling me just what the hell did you think you were doing?"

"Completing the Council." Comes Buffy's totally unrepentant reply.

"You want a vampire to be part of the Council? Are you out of your bloody minds?"

"An ensouled vampire and no."

"Angel is already working with us so don't give me that and I don't think we need two ensouled vampires. We are supposed to be fighting **_against_** vampires here. Am I the only one who remembers that? You are supposed to be a **_vampire_** slayer!"

"No, I haven't forgotten that, and I agree that we don't necessarily need two ensouled vampires in the Council, I'll give you that. It's just that we need the right one and that's not Angel."

"What do you mean the right vampire?"

"I said what I meant. Yes, we need an ensouled vampire but that vampire is not Angel, it is Spike."

"And you say this based on your infinite wisdom?" I say not even bothering to try to conceal my sarcasm.

"No, I say it because it's true. Angel's soul is a fluke --a curse-- he didn't earn it... besides, Spike was meant to be brought back, you just don't want to see it."

"And how do you know that? You saw that someone you thought of as a friend was dead and you decided to mess with the most basic forces of nature...**_again_**. I expected you of all people to know better."

"This is nothing like what they did when they brought me back, you are right, I do know better, so maybe you should try getting all your facts before you start yelling at us."

"And if you were so sure why did you go behind my back? You did it because you knew it was wrong and you knew I would have stopped you."

"No, actually we went behind your back because we feared you might actually have approved of what we were about to do."

"That doesn't make the least bit of sense."

"What would you have done if we had been able to prove to you that Spike was meant to be brought back?"

"I would have told you to do it."

"And if after that we had decided **_not _**to do it?"

"If you had evidence that his restoration was necessary, and you wanted to restore him to begin with, why would my approval have changed that?"

"Because this wasn't about your approval or what the Powers felt we had to do... and it certainly wasn't about what I wanted. The choice was Spike's and the truth is that --after everything that has happened between the two of you-- I just wasn't sure I could trust you to respect his decision."

"And just how did he choose? He was dead!"

"I asked him. I took a nice little stroll down the Spirit Plane and asked him... and while we are at it, I think you are being totally unfair to Buffy here." Interrupts Blair.

"I'm being unfair?" I say, sorely tempted to introduce my son to Ripper.

"Yes, maybe you should ask yourself why she felt she couldn't trust you before you start yelling at her."

"She should have told me about this!"

"And if you hadn't tried to have Spike killed because you felt he wasn't good enough for her then maybe she would have."

"I had my reasons."

"Yes, they were your reasons but it wasn't your call, dad. I know what happened and if Buffy chose to forgive him for what he did **_to her_** then that was **_her_** right and you should have respected her decision, even if you didn't agree with it. You didn't."

"Maybe, but nothing I've heard so far is evidence that Spike was meant to be brought back... and that includes the fact that you felt it was necessary to give him a say on the matter. What, did he tell you that the Powers wanted him to be brought back and you just took his word for it?"

"No, actually he knew he was meant to be brought back and he wasn't particularly pleased about it."

"And you believed him?"

"Where he was he could not lie, but that's not the point. I won't repeat what he told me --that's between the two of us-- but by the time I traveled to the Spirit Plane to ask for his opinion we already knew it was meant to be, we were just giving him a chance to say 'no' because Buffy didn't want to run the risk that he would be torn from Heaven like she was."

"He's a demon, somehow I don't think you need to worry about him being in Heaven."

"And you are surprised that Buffy chose not to ask for your input? Listen to yourself, dad. Yes, Spike is a vampire but not only does he have a soul, he was fighting beside you long **_before_** he got that soul and yet you fail to see him as anything **_but_** a demon."

"This is pointless. What I fail to see is why on Earth you came to the conclusion that the Powers meant for Spike to be brought back."

"Because of the nature of the spell necessary for his restoration. It was too specific, too targeted to these particular circumstances for it to be a coincidence. As far as I'm concerned when you run into a spell that has as many safeguards to keep it from being abused that kind of tells you that the one instance in which it would be possible to perform it, it is pretty much a done deal... otherwise there would be no point to the spell at all."

"Where did you find this spell and how can you be so sure it couldn't be performed under other circumstances?"

"I ran into it while looking for a way to bring Buffy back, but of course it was the wrong spell for that because she's not a vampire, rather a vampire slayer, so even though they are related they are not the same... anyway, about those safeguards, well I can't think of that many circumstances in which a living slayer would willingly shed her own blood in order to restore a vampire. That's a pretty major safeguard as far as I'm concerned." Explains Willow.

"You may be right about that, but I still don't think that's proof enough to..."

"Then add to that that the blood had to be ritually shed using the scythe."

"The ritual called specifically for the use of the scythe?"

"Yes."

"I see."

"We thought you might. And what would you have done if we had brought you this information and then Spike had refused to come back?" Asks Buffy.

"I don't know, but you could have told me about it once you knew he had agreed." I say, even though I realize that as an argument it is meaningless.

"And if we had we would probably have had the exact same argument because we hadn't asked you about it sooner." Replies Blair.


	6. Chapter 6: Tin Man

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 6: Tin Man

I can't sleep --a condition I suspect I might as well get used to-- so I'm going over my argument with Blair and Buffy, thinking of what they said. I hate to admit it but they did make a couple of valid points, like the fact that even after all these years I still can't bring myself to see Spike as anything but a demon. I remember our first encounter, back then it was so simple. I would like to believe that it was the chip that made the difference, but that would mean lying to myself.

The truth is that whether I like it or not there's always been a strange _humanity_ in Spike, from the way he cared for Dru to his actions regarding Willow when he tried to force her to perform a love spell. The mere thought of a vampire sipping hot cocoa with the slayer's mother should have made me realize that there was something different in him, but I wasn't ready back then, I wasn't willing to see.

After the chip it became increasingly easy for me to dismiss him. I tolerated him, he was no longer a threat and not quite an ally. I was troubled when he became infatuated with Buffy but by that time we had more pressing concerns... like dealing with Glory, the discovery that Dawn wasn't real, Joyce's illness and death, not to mention the stunning discovery that I actually have a son. Truth be told back then Spike was pretty low on my list of priorities, but still that's no excuse.

Now that I think about it I cringe at the way we treated him back then. I may not have liked him but he liked Joyce and yet we all dismissed his grief when she died. He was, after all, just a soulless vampire... now that's a laugh.

I had a chance to see him differently after Buffy's death, when he stayed around to help us patrol, to help us keep Dawn safe, but by that time I was lost in my own grief and I had gotten so used to dismissing his presence that I didn't give him a second thought. That was a mistake.

When Buffy came back things got worse. He became her anchor and I resented that. She turned to him. He was the only one she trusted with the truth about where she'd been and I never forgave him for it... then things got complicated. Much to my dismay they became involved though I didn't know that at the time... I found out about it later, with everyone else after the fiasco of Xander's would be wedding and I was furious.

Things reached their lowest point when he tried to rape her before taking off. It was then that I promised myself that I would stake him if he ever dared to come back but then Buffy began dreaming of girls dying in distant places and I was forced to leave in order to gather the surviving potentials and to try and salvage as much of the Council as I could, so I didn't learn of his return for some time. By the time I came back Buffy had already sort of forgiven him so taking him out would have meant alienating her and I wasn't willing to take that chance.

I did try it once, indirectly, by helping Robin when he came up with a plan to get rid of him, and it nearly costed me my relationship with her. It was enough for me to learn my lesson but I can't say I was heartbroken when he was dusted, though I knew better than to say that out loud... and now he is back.

The problem is that the more I think about it, the more obvious it becomes that it wasn't really the chip that brought forth the changes I saw in Spike over the years and it wasn't the soul either. In that regard I have to admit that Buffy is right, there's not that much difference in the way he acts with or without a soul, not like there is in Angel's case where there are two distinct personalities. It's like Spike's essence is the same no matter what... as if his demon's viciousness were just a front that was slowly torn down as we got to know him better, but there's something else there, something I can't quite grasp.

His demon **_earned_** his soul and I suspect there's more to that story than I've been led to believe. I could see it in Blair's knowing eyes when I told him that he didn't have to worry about a demon being torn from Heaven. I realized too late that --as the shaman who had gone looking for Spike in the Spirit Plane-- Blair wasn't speculating about that. He **_knew_** where Spike had been and if he felt the need to tacitly contradict me about that by choosing that specific moment to point out the fact that I fail to see him as anything but a demon, well, the implications of that are disturbing enough and they turn everything I've ever known and believed about the nature of vampires and demons on its ear.

Would it be possible for a demon to have been in Heaven? I know it would have been possible for his soul, and he was souled before he turned to dust, but what about the demon? What would that mean? Where would the difference between man and monster be then, if not in the soul itself? Spike earned his soul back and yet I can't help but wonder if he did, and that's the strangest thing of all.

There's always been a strange _humanity_ in Spike, there's no denying that and as I think back to all the books I've read searching for an explanation, the best one I can find comes from the strangest place of all. It doesn't come from an obscure demonology text that has been kept hidden for centuries but from one of the first books I ever read... when the Wizard of Oz granted the Tin Man his wish to have a heart. By the time Spike earned his soul back that soul had long ceased to be relevant to who he was, that's why there's no difference. I'm not saying he always had a soul, I do know better than that, but maybe, just maybe, who he is and what he feels is not really defined by the presence or absence of that soul.

Oddly enough that thought is nowhere near as comforting as it should have been. It certainly doesn't help me accept his relationship with my slayer but unfortunately Blair was right about that too... it's not for me to decide though I can't help but wish that they would turn it down a little. It's late, I'm tired and I really wish I could get some sleep, but going by the sounds coming from the other side of the wall I don't think that's likely to happen any time soon.

For years I steeled myself to accept Buffy's death... funny how in the end it was her life that I wasn't prepared to deal with.


	7. Chapter 7: Undead in Cascade

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 7: Undead in Cascade

Coming back has been rough. Not just because I'm once again confined to the shadows but also because everything is so different. Sunnydale is gone --a hole in the ground a bunch of geologists are still trying to explain-- and the Hellmouth that was the focus of our lives is no more. It seems that in my absence the slayer's merry little band relocated to Cascade, which is a whole different problem as far as I'm concerned. One simple fact of vampiric unlife is that the colder the weather the more noticeable we become. In Sunnydale if someone happened to brush a vampire's hand that hand would have felt a little cold but not cold enough to ring any alarm bells, here in Cascade that's no longer the case so I have to be more careful.

On the other hand the weather here does have some advantages. I like the fact that Cascade has far fewer sunny days. I suspect that I won't be confined to the darkness, at least not as much as I had feared. Being so much further north will also have an impact. In the winter I will have a lot more freedom than I did in Sunnydale because the days will be a lot shorter, but I will pay the price for that in the summer, when the nights will last only a few hours.

The fact that there's no Hellmouth around is another difference I'm having a hard time coming to terms with. It seems that they are more concerned with reorganizing the bloody Council than with the actual fight against evil... not that there's that much evil left to fight now that the First has been destroyed and the cub slayers activated. I guess that's my main problem... I'm a fighter with nothing to fight and even though I'm relieved by the knowledge that Buffy's patrols are no longer a major danger to her but rather a mere formality, I'm still bored out of my mind and I don't think she's doing much better. She was never meant to be a bureaucrat and sometimes I wonder if they remember that.

The one thing I'm not missing are the hordes of potentials. That is a major relief and I think that's probably the one thing we can all agree on... well except for the new guy who was spared from getting to know them in the first place. I'm still trying to figure the Immortal out. He's older than anyone I've ever met before and that's saying something... still for a guy who's older than dirt I guess he's not too bad.

Of course, I don't have much of a right to complain about the potentials... well former potentials at any rate. From what I've heard the first few days after the gang arrived in Cascade were pretty close to the guardian's definition of hell. I can imagine, I know that back in Sunnyhell things were rough enough for me and even then I had the basement mostly to myself, I could intimidate them --at least a little-- and there was considerably more space than they would have had here. These lofts are not designed to have guests, so I can only imagine what it was like to have some thirty people living in one of them, even if it was only for a short time.

That's another issue I'm having some problems with: their choice of headquarters. This building meets their needs but not mine. While the slayer has added some decent shutters this place is still too sunny --too exposed-- for my liking, not to mention the fact that the loft's bedroom open design worked just fine as long as it was just Buffy and Bit living here but now we could really use some privacy. It's scary how good Dawn is getting at most forms of RPG due to how often she is forced to seek shelter in Xanders's place.

I guess I could probably try to talk the watcher into modifying part of their combined storage space in the basement to turn it into vampire friendly quarters.That would take care of the sun issue and it would also solve the privacy problem... not to mention that just thinking about it would raise the watcher's blood pressure significantly. On the other hand having me move to the basement would mean that we would no longer be literally on the other side of the wall and that could eventually help lower his blood pressure. I am aware that he's not happy about the fact that Buffy and I are back together, and even through a brick wall I'm pretty sure he can hear us... no one ever accused us of being too quiet.

The main obstacle to that approach is that we do have to think about the neighbors here and building what would amount to an extra apartment in the basement would be a little too obvious and not easily explained. Sure, I could get some forged documents indicating that I suffer from solar urticaria or another such rare skin condition, but I know that coming up with an answer is not the problem, the problem is that we are trying to keep people from asking questions in the first place.

Well, we'll just have to see how things develop from here... at least one thing has changed for the better: the slayer and I, we're no longer hiding.


	8. Chapter 8: Stupid Little Boxes

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 8: Stupid Little Boxes

I wonder if Giles would mind if I were to slay Jim. I mean, I like the guy but sometimes I really could do without his practical nature. Practical nature leads to practical suggestions, practical suggestions lead to us having to do normal things and normal things lead to weird thoughts... well, weird for me anyway. Right now I'm glaring at the mountain of forms from what will soon become our insurance company. The old Council never cared about providing such trivial things for its slayers and while in principle this is a good idea --well, it is a good idea if we can keep doctors from becoming suspicious of our **_miraculous_** healing and trying to go all mad scientist on us, otherwise it would be a really bad idea-- these forms ask way too many **_normal_** questions.

For instance, if my life were anything near normal, a question about marital status would be easy enough... I'm single and I'll remain single for the foreseeable future, thank you very much. Sure, I love Spike but it's not like we can get married even if we wanted to. He's a vampire and that means he doesn't exist... at least not legally. Besides weddings tend to involve churches and chapels, blessings and all too often crosses, and I'm well aware that vampires and crosses don't mix. I don't need a wedding to know that for all intents and purposes we are married, just like Willow and Tara don't need one to reaffirm their commitment to each other. Marriage is not the issue, the English language is.

It's true that when I was little I used to dream about my wedding day... it seems so silly now but back then it was a big deal to me. I guess Blair could give me a really long and boring anthropological explanation on the relevance of mating rituals or on how the media helps shape our dreams and goals but that's not the issue and I **_really_** don't want to hear about it. I could probably talk Methos into performing some sort of marriage ceremony for us if it were really important (I'm pretty sure he was ordained at least once by some religion in order to gain access to a sanctuary in Holy Ground), but that's not what I want. The thing is that I've known for a very long time that I would never live to see my wedding day and I made my peace with that fact a long time ago. Of course back then that used to be because I was sure I was meant to die, now it's simply because marrying a vampire would be too creepy and complicated... and the fact that a wedding seems creepy by comparison after so many years of fighting demons tells me how far from normal my life really is, but as I said that's not the issue.

The truth is that I don't want to get married, I really don't, but seeing all these stupid little boxes in these stupid insurance forms got me thinking, if I were to somehow marry Spike... would I become his wife or his widow?


	9. Chapter 9: Sometimes I Hate Being Right

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 9: Sometimes I Hate Being Right

I glare at the two detectives sitting in front of me, sigh and explain the situation. I suspect we are dealing with one of **_those_** cases and if we are then there's not much point to investigating things further, however something is different this time around. We've found three corpses in the past month, all share the same MO but they were not drained, they were all beheaded and the strangest part is that all three of them had fake IDs, very good ones, but still fakes, which begs the question of who they really were and why they were killed in a clearly ritual fashion. I do know this is big, and the Commissioner is not making things easy for me. He wants this solved and he wants it solved yesterday. The good news is that at least the media still hasn't picked up the story but when it does...

Without a word I hand them the folder. Sandburg gets to it first, takes a look at a couple of pictures, shakes his head and hands it over to Jim.

"I'm assuming that it's one of yours."

"Looks that way," mutters Sandburg, "you won't catch this killer."

"As long as he, it, whatever doesn't kill again." I tell him... I know why those responsible for **_those_** killings are never caught and I'm willing to look the other way as long as they make sure that they are stopped but these cases have brought our solve rate down considerably and I'm not happy about that.

"It may not be that simple this time. This is the work of a headhunter, not a vampire and slayers can't kill humans."

"Then what do you intend to do about it?" I ask.

"Our hands are kind of tied here, you see, we can't interfere but this killer is not a threat to the general population."

"'Not a threat to the general population'? This one has killed three people already, Sandburg!"

"Yes, but it's complicated and you probably don't want to hear about it."

"I know I don't but that's never stopped you before. I used to think Cascade was the most dangerous city in America until your father moved here. I thought things couldn't get any worse and I don't like being wrong."

"Okay, let's just say that there is a whole race of people who can live forever unless they are beheaded... and quite a few of them spend their lives hunting for others of their kind."

"What do you mean 'they can live forever'?"

"Well, some of them are several thousands of years old."

"Which would explain the fake IDs." I say.

"Exactly."

"And what do you propose we do?"

"Well, my guess is that he or she doesn't have a watcher."

"What's a watcher and how do you know our killer doesn't have one?"

"A watcher keeps a chronicle of an Immortal's life, and I suspect our killer doesn't have one because if he did we wouldn't be finding the bodies."

"I don't want to know."

"That's what I told you."

"So, do you think we should try and get him one?" Asks Jim.

"It's going to be difficult if we don't know who we are dealing with and if we don't want to alert **_them_** to what we are up to here, but I don't think we have much of a choice here."

"Well, maybe we could call Joe and ask him if they have any missing Immortals who might have settled in Cascade recently. Three heads are more than what we would expect to find if we were dealing with a newbie who just got lucky. Whoever our Immie is, he's probably been doing this for a while, I'd guess at least a few centuries."

"So I guess our next step would be to place a call to Seacouver."

"Seacouver? 'Decapitation capital of the world' Seacouver?" I ask with a sinking feeling. If this is related to what's been happening in Seacouver for years then it is not going to be good.

"Well, yes." Says Sandburg.

"And what will this watcher do?"

"You are really not going to like this."

"I already don't." I growl.

"A watcher would make sure the bodies are never found."

"Great, that's your idea? Get someone to help the killer dispose of the bodies? Maybe the city should offer something like this as a public service! Maybe we could get some convicted felons to help as part of their sentences, maybe we could suggest this as an option for those who have to do some community service and so on! Wouldn't that be a useful solution!"

"Believe me, we know it's not ideal but that's about the only thing we can do. We can't allow the government to learn about Immortals, it would be a disaster. Besides, Immortals live by their own rules and for the most part they don't see mortals as victims, though some of them see them as tools... and if an Immortal starts attracting too much attention by preying on mortals he or she will be stopped." Says Blair.

"I don't know who our 'victims' here were, Captain, but I can pretty much promise you they weren't innocents. They fought, they lost... that's how they live their lives. We may not approve but unmasking them could unleash a war between mortals and Immortals and that would **_not_** be a good thing. We are talking warriors here, not soldiers but warriors who have been fighting for centuries, honing their skills not just for the kill but also the ability to blend in as civilizations rise and fall around them. They may be a tiny minority, but the damage they could inflict would be devastating." Adds Jim.

I shake my head, I knew even before I called them that it was bound to be one of **_those_** cases. I may hate being wrong but sometimes I hate being right even more.


	10. Chapter 10: Rituals

**_For notes, warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1_**

Chapter 10: Rituals

I look around the table and I do my best to keep the smirk off my face. Tonight for the first time Jim and I are joining in the **_fun_**. The truth is that it was unavoidable. Just like Major Crimes has its weekly poker night the new Council has these little get-togethers --which are more than a little redundant considering the fact that we actually **_live_** together, but that's another story-- and it is all but impossible not to participate. In a tribal setting I would describe this as a bonding ritual designed to strengthen the tribesmen sense of common identity... or maybe that would just serve as a nice excuse. We are surrounded by the usual group of a watcher, a slayer, two witches, a key, an Immortal and a vampire... nothing new there, what's different is what we are doing.

It was Andrew who first came up with the idea to blow off some steam, of course, but it was quickly accepted by most of the others, including my father... and that's just too weird to contemplate. Jim and I are the new arrivals to the game and while I'm having a blast, Jim is struggling with the whole concept. I can also see why Spike was so adamant that something had to be done to keep Dawn away from here, the girl is definitely scary, and even though I haven't played this game often I can see that Andrew is an excellent master.

Jim is having a hard time, silent and stoic he is an action oriented kind of guy and this is definitely not his idea of fun, poker he can handle, basketball he loves but this is certainly not his cup of tea. And speaking of avid tea drinkers, my father seems to be enjoying himself though he isn't having much luck... I think the dice really don't like him. Andrew and Xander are naturals at the game, no surprise there. Willow and Tara's styles are revealing in that they don't necessarily match what I would have expected out of them, especially when it comes to Tara whose style is far more assertive than I would have anticipated. Methos is letting his inner strategist loose and having some fun while at it --though luckily he is clearly holding back, otherwise it would have been over a long time ago-- he is more interested in keeping the game going than in beating us and that's what's keeping us 'alive'. Buffy is being Buffy, a little too straight forward sometimes but always a worthy opponent. Spike is laughing himself silly and me, I'm mostly watching them... even if I'm not supposed to be a watcher.

And so here we are, a sentinel and a shaman joining our little family --which includes a watcher, a vampire and a vampire slayer-- in their weekly game of "Vampire, the masquerade". Maybe next week we should ask Simon to join us.

THE END (to be continued in Part 5)


End file.
